wtf am I doing here…?

Once a month I attend a class at a Spiritualist Union in Melbourne.  Each session covers something different, such as the history of Spiritualism, Spiritual development, mediumship, meditation etc.


I had my monthly class on Saturday and I went along reluctantly.  I had been sick for a week with a bad case of the flu, it was raining outside and I hadn’t slept well.  The topic for the day was meditation, which is completely my ‘thing’, so I turned up with the intention of soaking up some knowledge and quietly departing afterwards.


Each topic brings a new presenter, and Saturdays’ class was presented by a lively medium and meditation instructor by the name of Carol.  The first half of the class was all about meditation – I took notes and inhaled every word (I love to learn).  We then took a break and came back in for the second half only to find that our chairs had been moved and we were now to sit in a circle.  Carol explained that we were going to perform mediumship readings and who ever felt inclined to stand up and give a message from Spirit was welcome.


Mediumship and I go together well, but I was very tired, sick and frankly I am not someone who stands in front of a room full of people willingly.  Despite peoples perceptions of me I am actually an introvert and very happy to sit in the back and observe.  I decided I was more than content to watch and see how other people work, so I got comfortable and settled in for an hour of entertainment.


After about 10 minutes I started to feel even more tired.  Like I said, I had the flu badly and I was now ready to go home and back to bed.  I sank further into my chair and that’s when something caught my eye.  A very bright light on my right hand side suddenly grabbed my attention.  I turned to seek out the source of the piercing beam and realised that light from a fluorescent blub on the ceiling was reflecting in the name badge of one of the circles participants causing a shard of light to hit me directly in the eye; and before I knew it Carol was asking who was next and I had my hand up.

Sometimes it can happen, just like that.


As I stood in front of 30 people wondering what the fuck I was doing as my brain was empty, I felt no Spirit connection in that moment (I was too busy freaking out), my legs were shaking and my heart was pounding like I was going to panic, I looked at the guy with the light reflecting name tag and began to speak.  It was in this moment that I could no longer feel the shaking of my legs and my heart beating in overdrive, instead I became a conduit, a channel for he who is in Spirit to speak with the person with whom the message was to be delivered.  I cannot explain it any more than it feels like the most natural thing in the world and I simply cannot believe that this is not something that is part of ‘normal’ life here on earth in these human bodies.


We are nothing less than spiritual beings having a human experience, so why on earth (pun intended) could (and would) we not be able to speak to the Spiritual realm from where hail – the Spirit realm that we are more part of than not…?


Standing in front of 30 people and allowing Spirit to channel though me to give a message to a loved one, I was suddenly without the limitations of my mind and therefore without my usual fears and doubts and self-criticisms.  I was just a soul giving a message to another soul from another soul, who just happened to be on a non-physical plain.


Why do we as humans find this so hard to believe?  Why is it so much more comfortable to believe that we are no more than human flesh, that God is some almighty being separate from and above us rather than of us, or perhaps that God/Oneness/Divine does not exist at all?


Are we so afraid to shine? Are we so afraid to be as big and magical and magnificent as we really are?


And you know what?  Maybe I have it all wrong, too.  Maybe there is no such thing as Spirit and energy and Oneness and we are no more than human flesh here for some random and seemingly meaningless time on earth only to die and be put back in the earth to be worm food.  Maybe.  But what I do know is that I had absolutely no pre-existing knowledge about the guy in the circle with the reflecting name tag, I knew nothing about his father that came to me in Spirit and I knew none of the details that I relayed to him for 10 minutes with 100% accuracy – I didn’t even know his name.  But standing before him I saw everything and if, IF, there is no such thing as channeling, God/Spirit/Divine/Oneness [insert your own word] then I’m a bloody good mind reader and should start charging!


Carol said that she believes we are 98% Spirit while we’re here in this physical realm, and I’m inclined to believe her because nothing less than me standing in the truth of who I really am would have stopped my legs from shaking while standing front of 30 people on Saturday.


Keep stepping forward, Sam